As a psychology research assistant...

As a psychology research assistant,

I get to meet a lot of different people.

Students, faculty, general public.

I've been running a study these past few weeks as an employee of the university (instead of just as a student dissertation) and I thought I'd share with you some *hashtag* 'psychologist problems', quotes, and general hilarious moments that I've encountered through this experiment.

1. Participant enters room wearing 'University Judo Team' jersey.

Participant is 65 years old.

2. I ask a participant if they are right or left handed.

Participant replies 'both - I'm a, what do you call it, dextrose'.

3. When getting ice for the experiment this morning from the chemistry wet lab, I enter to find a lone, bearded chemist holding a conical flask and flicking through a sheet headed 'Laboratory Practice'. Making conversation, I ask if he's calibrating the volumetric glassware, and express what a bore that job is. 

He looks at me as if I just killed his cat, clearly in disbelief that someone of my gender and with my hair colour could possibly understand the role of a lab technician, and says '...umm, no, I was just looking at the pictures'. 

4. Woman runs for the lift, which I have just entered with a huge, but apparently invisible ice cooler (complete with pull handle and wheels...its BIG). 

She just makes it to the lift as the doors are about to shut, when she realises theres a huge cooler in the space she wants to stand, and she proceeds to do what can only be described as the most ballet-like U-Turn I have ever seen, and just as the doors close, I witness her face meet the floor. Sorry, love!

5. Me: Are you going to buy anything nice? 

(Participants get paid £8 for taking part)

Participant: Probably some cider. And some new socks. 

6. A participant emails me to say she's going to be late for her 

appointment. She's already 7 minutes late, so 

I start to set up the experiment again (ice has melted, etc). 

However, I look out the window to see what the noise below is, and see her

playing frisbee with her student friends outside. As luck would have it,

the frisbee flies in my direction and lands, no word of a lie, right outside my window. Did she see me? She didn't have much to say when she finally turned up! (I tried to take a photo but it fell off the ledge before I could grab my phone).

Welcome to the world of research....